Dr Bone, my dog Rusty bit my boyfriend. Should I have him put down?
Betsy, yes! Have your boyfriend put down just as quickly as you can! Rusty is trying to tell you something! Listen to him! He's a bad choice, Betsy. He's no good for you. Trust Rusty.
Dr Bone, I want to get a dog but my wife thinks we should get a cat. What do you think?
Don, do you want to know what cats are good for? Lunch!